Today I have been thinking more about thankfulness and what struck me was how unique being thankful is. Take for example the difference between a compliment and thankfulness. At first being thankful for someone seems rather similar to giving a compliment to someone but they are really radically different.
Imagine if I were to say to Pastor Nick, “nice sermon.” It would be a nice thing to say but underneath the words what is happening? I don’t give Pastor Nick anything more than my opinion. The words are very transitory, what I mean by that is, they don’t last. “If I tell you, “you are wearing a nice tie”, and tomorrow you don’t wear the same necktie, the words no longer carry any weight. The words are only as long-lasting as the tie.
Compliments also give nothing to the speaker. The words that are spoken have little to any connection to my life. Again, “Pastor Nick, nice sermon.” leaves me with nothing more than a vague memory of being momentarily entertained, but the words aren’t treasured, nor are the experiences for that matter.
On the other hand, if I say “I am thankful for the sermon Pastor Nick.” Watch what happens. What I am really saying is that something spoken struck me in such a way that I must keep the words alive in me. I have chosen to take his words and make them my own in such a way that I can more deeply and fully praise God. Not only am I saying something to Pastor Nick, I am saying something about my own heart and about the heart of God. The words have transcended the experience and are not taking on a life of their own.
Yesterday I said I wanted to explore ways to be thankful and how to show thankfulness. So here goes.
We can be thankful in three distinct ways: with our heads, our hearts, and our hands. Both in the ways and the how this seems to be the case, it must come out in one of those three ways.
With our heads – we can be thankful for the truth, the expression of the truth, for clarity, for decisions (whether we like them or not), challenges to current thinking. I am sure the list can go on, these are just a few from the top of my head.
With our hearts – we can be thankful for love, concern, rebukes, perseverance, courage, faith
With our hands – action, restraint, giving, receiving, even an offer of something impossible is something to be thankful for.
That last one might seem a bit odd, so let me try to explain. As I mentioned before I struggle with depression. I have tried to kill myself twice in high school and in the past struggled with the desire for years. The last severe depression was when I was around 30. I was unemployed, living in an apartment with a rat sharing my mattress, unable to speak, lying in bed without the courage or energy to get out of it, even to chase away the rat. My pastor came over and the greatest gift he ever gave me was “I know you don’t have any faith. You can borrow some of mine until yours come back.” Now obviously, I couldn’t really have his faith any more than I could have his heart while it was still beating in his body. But the offer gave me hope, something that I could cling on to when there was nothing between me and an ever widening bottomless hole. There are few moments in my life that I am more thankful for, than an offer of something that couldn’t be given.
So how can we show thankfulness to others?
1. Tell them – Be specific, tell them exactly what they have done, what part of who they are that makes you thankful.
2. Pray for them – a head, heart or hand that can produce thankfulness in others does not occur by accident. Nor are the swarms of hell happy over that person. Pray for continued strength, wisdom, guidance that they may continue to be a blessing.
3. Support them – whether it is through money, time, or working alongside them, you can show thankfulness by supporting the “ministry” of the person we are thankful for.
4. Reflect them – If you claim to be thankful, to be changed because of someone, but have no reflection of it in your own life, you are nothing but a vampire. You are simply sucking the person dry without ever actually possessing what it is they have given so preciously. If you are thankful for a person, one of the best ways is to model what you have learned.
I don’t know if any of this helps, or even makes sense, these are just some random reflections.
