Closer to Home – Women: Practical Submission

 Ephesians 5, spotlighted in “Practical Submission,” shows us how Christian husbands and wives are to relate to one another. But thankfully, the Bible is not silent on the situation where a believing wife is married to an unbeliever. 1 Peter 3:1-2 says,

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

 

Yes, submission is a hard word. Especially when you’re married to a man who doesn’t try to be an Ephesians 5 kind of husband. And it’s made harder by a culture that redefines and twists it, then mocks it to no end. But it’s in a biblical understanding of submission that lies the hope for an unsaved spouse. What joy to serve a God who inspired Peter to address women in that situation directly. And not only with instructions for following a husband’s lead, but also with hope that their obedience to God has the power to lead their mate to eternal life.

 

(I’m in no way suggesting a wife should stay with or submit to a man who is acting criminally toward her. Such a man has already abdicated his role and responsibility as her husband. He has forfeited his claim on her as wife.) View article…

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Closer to Home – Women: Trophy Wife

Real Trophy Wives

 

“In our society, women are repeatedly told ad nauseam, by those periodic packaged lies called women’s magazines, that it is their responsibility to deck themselves out in such a way that they ‘keep’ their man. A woman may be able to do this successfully in her twenties, and then have to work a little harder in her thirties and forties. Then, if she still buys all this foolishness, she really has to work in her fifties and sixties, because she is always competing with twenty-year-olds. If a wife treats fidelity in marriage as a prize to be obtained through competition, then somewhere, sometime, she is going to lose. This is the way of the world. But if she approaches it as a Christian woman, the older she gets, the more beautiful and serene she gets (1 Pet. 3:5)” (Her Hand in Marriage, pp. 50-51). View article…

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Theological Word of the Day: Egalitarianism

Egalitarianism

[ih-gal’-ih-tayr‘-ee-uh-niz’-um]

(French egal, “equal”)

Theological position held by many Christians (contra complementarianism) believing the Bible does not teach that women are in any sense, functionally or ontologically, subservient to men. Women and men hold positions in society, ministry, and the family according to their gifts, not their gender. The principle of mutual submission teaches that husbands and wives are to submit to each other equally. Prominent egalitarians include Doug Groothuis, Ruth Tucker, William Webb, Gorden Fee, and Linda Belleville.

Does anyone have an opinion on this? As someone about to be married, what is your perspective on complementarianism /egalitarianism?  What advice can you give me?

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Closer to Home – Women: U.S. Women More Religious

U.S. Women More Religious Than Men

This is according to a newly released bit of number crunching from the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, which bases the numbers on its massive U.S. Religious Landscape Survey. Most of the research was conducted in 2007 and the survey remains a treasure trove of facts and figures on religious life in America.

You can see the new analysis here. Among other things it finds that U.S. women trump men on being affilated to a specific faith (86 percent to 79 percent), on daily prayer (66 to 49 percent), and attending a worship service weekly (44 percent to 34 percent).

View article…

Is anyone really surprsed by this? Why do you think men avoid church? What makes church more woman friendly? I wonder if the numbers are reversed for Muslim women? How would NOW and other organizations that see the church as oppressing respond to this? So many questions, so little time.

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Closer to Home – Women: Setting Realistic Goals

Setting Realistic Goals at Home & Work
Practical ways to beat the “too much to do” blues.
Mary M. Byers

Do you have too much to do and not enough time to do it? If so, you’re not the only mom who wrestles with the “If I only had more time” syndrome. Here’s how to help insure your days stay manageable:

1. Make lists. Ask yourself, What would you like to get done this week at home and at work? Jot down work-related tasks on one side of a piece of paper and home-related chores on the other side. Getting things out of your mind and onto paper makes it easier to organize your work — and keeps you from having to work overtime to remember everything.

2. Check your calendar. Before moving to the next step, take a quick look at what’s on your schedule this week. Are you completely booked? Or is this a relatively easy week for you? If it’s the latter, you’ll be able to tackle more on your list than you will if you’re running from the time you get up until the time you drop into bed each night. Understanding your current workload is essential to setting realistic goals. In an effort to be Super Woman, many moms overlook this step.

3. Prioritize. Of the things you’ve written down, which are most important? Highlight the ones that have to be done this week. Move less important projects to a secondary list. Focus on the most important things first, then move through the remainder of your list as time allows.

4. Delegate. When your list is complete, ask yourself if there’s anyone who can help with each item. Is there a colleague or subordinate at work who can assist with your work-related list? If so, move what you legitimately can off your list and onto someone else’s. Then, repeat the exercise for home-related activities. Ask kids to help according to their individual abilities. Not only will this help you, but you’ll be instilling both pride and a sense of responsibility in your children.

5. Identify extenuating circumstances. Are you facing unique challenges during this season of life? If so, you may not be able to accomplish as much as usual. A woman I know is currently shuttling between a nursing home and a hospital in order to care for two elderly aunts while working part-time and caring for her children — all while her husband is away on business. Needless to say, she’s had to narrow her focus considerably. In order to stay sane, she’s given herself permission to let things slide without feeling guilty.

6. Be willing to let go. The longer a project stays on your list, the less important it likely is. Though I bought two empty scrapbooks for my kids when they were toddlers, now that they are nearly teens, I’ve finally realized I’m not the scrapbooking type. I’m still gathering mementos for each of them, but I no longer feel like I have to be the one to organize them. 

To Finish the Article CLICK HERE

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Closer to Home – Women: Biblical Description of Women

Interesting how little being “hot” comes into the picture, or having a sense of humor, being a great conversationalist or whatever else e-harmony or whatever thinks makes a good match.

Biblical Descriptions of Women

Here’s a fairly exhaustive study of the word “woman” in the Bible, with all of its uses and descriptions (from the ESV version, so I may have missed some mentioned in other versions). I thought it would be helpful for us to see how women are described in the Bible, positively and negatively, as we strive to be godly women.

Not all of them will apply in each of our lives, and some are situation-specific… but perhaps one or many of these will catch your eye and inspire you in a particular area of your life… and we’ll come back and examine these a little at the end of the list.

POSITIVE OR NEUTRAL BIBLICAL DESCRIPTIONS OF WOMEN:

 

• made by God (Gen 2:22)
• taken out of man (Gen 2: 23, 1 Cor 11:9)
• “beautiful in appearance” (Sarai– Gen 12, Rebekah– Gen 12, Bathsheba–2 Sam 11:2, Tamar– 2 Sam 14:27, 1 Ki 1:3-4)
• “pregnant” (Exod. 21:22, Is 26:17, and many, many more)
• “skillful” (Exod. 35:25)
• “tender” (Deut 28:56)
• “refined” (Deut 28:56)
• “delicate” (Deut. 28:56)
• “loved” (Jud 16:4)
• “worthy” (Ruth 3:14)
• not worthless (1 Sam 1:16)
• “discerning” (1 Sam 25:3)
• “wise” (2 Sam 14:2, 2 Sam 20:16, Prov 31:26)
• “wealthy” (2 Ki 4:8– the Shunammite woman who cared for Elisha)
• “barren, childless” given a home and children (Ps 113:9)
• “gracious” (Prov 11:16)
• receives honor (Prov 11:16)
• precious (Prov 31:10)
• trustworthy (Prov 31:11)
• interested in doing good for and pleasing her husband (Prov 31:12, Prov 31:23, 1 Cor 7:34)
• a willing worker (Prov 31:13, 19)
• prudent (Prov 31:16, 18)
• “strong” (Prov 31:17)
• diligent (Prov 31:18-22, Prov 31:27, Luke 15:8)
• generous (Prov 31:20)
• teaches kindness (Prov 31:26)
• “excellent” (Prov 31:29)
• “woman who fears the Lord” (Prov 31:30– worthy of praise)
• great in faith (Matthew 15:20-28)
• worshipful, sacrificial, worthy of remembrance (Matt. 26:6-13)
• “saved” by faith (Luke 8:40)
• freed from disability (Luke 13:12)
• bearer of a faithful testimony that led many to believe (John 4:39)
• uncondemned by God (John 8:10-11)
• “believer” (Acts 16:1)
• “seller of purple goods” (Acts 16:4)
• “worshiper of God” with an open, attentive heart (Acts 16:4)
• unmarried/betrothed are interested in holiness & “the things of the Lord” (1 Cor 7:34)
• “glory of man” (1 Cor 11:7)
• not independent of man (1 Cor 11:11)
• “quiet” learner (1 Tim 2:11, 12)
• “submissive” (1 Tim 2:11)
• “weaker vessel” (1 Pet 3:7)

 

 

NEGATIVE BIBLICAL DESCRIPTIONS OF WOMEN:

 

• “drunken” (1 Sam 1:13– Eli was mistaken when he thought this about Hannah)
• “perverse, rebellious” (1 Sam 20:30– spoken by Saul to Jonathan about his mother in order to shame him)
• “desolate” (Tamar– 2 Sam 13:20, because she was defiled)
• “cursed” (2 Ki 9:34– Jezebel)
• “wicked” (2 Chr 24:7– idolatrous woman)
• “barren, childless” (Job 24:21)
• “forbidden woman” (Prov 2:16, 5:3, 5:20, 7:5– the adulteress)
• “evil” (Prov 6:24– the adulteress)
• wily of heart (Prov 7:10– a woman dressed as a prostitute)
• “a beautiful woman without discretion” is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout (Prov 11:22)
• “quarrelsome” & fretful (Prov 21:19– living with this kind of woman is worse than living in a desert)
• heart of snares & nets (Eccl 7:26– godly men escape her)
• deceived transgressor (1 Tim 2:14)

There’s a lot here, but I think it may be helpful to look at this both in a micro- and macro- way.

THE MACRO VIEW OF BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD: (The BIG picture)
Generally, the biblical woman is discerning, gracious, generous, and kind. Generally, women are given a role defined by family and the home. Rather than seeking to control or manipulate men, the biblical woman is focused on the Lord, and her husband, children, and home (if married). A godly woman passes her faith on to others (specifically including her children and those who know her testimony) and is willing to sit at the feet of Jesus and love and worship Him.

THE MICRO VIEW OF BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD: (The nitty-gritty)
Starting with what she is not… she is not quarrelsome or worrisome. She does not seek to ensnare, capture, or deceive men. She does not dress seductively. She doesn’t act thoughtlessly or imprudently.

She works hard in order to serve her household, the poor, and widows. She worships God. She tells others what Christ has done for her. She learns with a quiet spirit, willing to submit to what is taught.

She is protected by the men in her family when she is a virgin (there were many instances of this, but these were not necessarily descriptive passages so I did not include them in the list), and focused on her family and home once married. She serves her husband and is faithful to him. She seeks to make him known as an honorable man. She raises children, teaching them kindness and faith. If unmarried, she is single-mindedly focused on serving Christ and being holy for Him. She fearfully, faithfully, and attentively serves a gracious, forgiving, and healing Creator God by serving, loving, and giving to the people around her.

This is encouraging and challenging stuff, huh? Any thoughts you’d like to add or other things you see in these descriptions? View article…

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Closer to Home – Women: When Life and Work Fall Apart

When Life and Work Fall Apart
By Debra Klingsporn

Flatfooted, she stands nearly six feet tall. She is a professional. Capable. Commanding. Her presence fills conference rooms of lawyers, accountants, and CEOs. From difficult contracts, or high-risk liability issues, to the unpredictable waters of conflict management, she’s a can-do, make-it-happen, no-nonsense business administrator.

Her private life is otherwise. Married as a teenager to a man ten years older, she was one-half of the perfect up-and-coming couple. Young, committed, Christian. He was on his way to a successful career in a national organization. She was the stunning spouse, rivaling Martha Stewart in poise and hospitality. By her early twenties, they had two beautiful children, and her college plans seemed unnecessary. She channeled her energy and creativity into her husband’s success.

Now she’s approaching fifty and fighting to manage a more-than-full-time career while spending nights and weekends studying, or sitting in class to finish a long-deferred college degree. Her marriage ended 10 years ago when her husband’s embezzlement of hundreds of thousands of dollars came to light. She supported him, but he couldn’t come clean about the extent of the malfeasance. Trust eroded and the marriage ended. Against a backdrop of financial devastation, a failed marriage, and no fall-back career, she also became primary caregiver for her chronically ill daughter, who continues to decline; trips to the Mayo Clinic number in the hundreds. At 27, her daughter cannot support herself, cannot live alone, and twice attempted suicide.

For the rest of the story CLICK HERE

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Closer to Home – Women: In the Shadow

In the Shadow

It seems to me that the majority of people believe that humbleness is not an asset. Many want the spotlight, to be the focus, to be center ring. They want attention, fame, and glory. I suppose it could be argued that this is a result of a culture obsessed with self, but I tend to believe it has much more to do with the human condition. We reject God’s awesome sovereignty and, instead, do our best scramble up onto a man-made throne… only to inevitably topple off later. View article…

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Ladies Only

God’s Wisdom for Wives

Last month, Wayne Grudem taught on 1 Peter 3:1—”Wives, be subject to your husbands.” You can watch or download the video. View article…

The scandalous women in Jesus’ genealogy

How much do you know about the women in Jesus’ genealogy? While many Bible studies focus on the famous men in Jesus’ line of ancestry—most prominently the Israelite king David—it turns out that there the Bible records the lives of many interesting and sometime even scandalous women in Jesus’ family tree.

Jonalyn Fincher (of Soulation) outlines some of these women’s lives in a recent blog post, and ponders what each one tells us about God and faith.

View article…

What I’m Learning About the Dark

I hid my emotions rather than cast them up to God’s light.

View article…

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Closer to Home

Men

Integrity in Difficult Situations

Jesus’ trip to the cross should serve as our example.

View article…

            Women

Finding Safe Women

I used to equate “women’s ministry” with things like secret pals and salad suppers. Problem is I’m a horrible secret pal because I tend to forget birthdays and anniversaries. And I’m sorry, but I like warm food.

At one particularly memorable Christmas tea, which featured a desert reception, I nervously stuffed an entire chocolate-covered strawberry into my mouth in one bite. Who does that?! The other ladies at my table giggled nervously as strawberry-chocolate juice oozed from my lips.

As a young woman trying to balance a demanding career and a growing family, I’m lucky to find time to shave my legs, much less to carve out three hours to make chit-chat with people who are apparently way better at this “lady” thing than I am. I spent years wishing I could skip the women’s events and just go do fun stuff with the men’s groups. I just wanted feel safe being myself but the fellowship halls of my past were filled with women who didn’t get me.

View article…

           

 At Work

Workaholic Faith

When I became a Christian, I knew I’d found my life purpose. I wanted to serve God with my last ounce of strength. I read Christian biographies voraciously and latched onto any report of modern-day Christians who were giving their all to Christ and his kingdom. I often felt that my life was too easy—that I never suffered for Christ as some people did, which to my way of thinking made me an inferior Christian. What this translated into for my life was that I said yes to everything anyone asked me to do and constantly looked for challenging people and situations to be involved with.

What this eventually led to (it took about 20 years—I’m tough) was burnout. I over-extended myself in almost every area of my life. In my false idea that only doing the hard things would please God, I worked part-time for a Christian organization, volunteered for three different organizations, and mothered three children. I wanted to do all of this perfectly, better than anyone had ever done any of them before. I also looked for practical needs all the time that I could meet. During this time, I remember telling the women in my small group that I always worry that I’m not doing enough to serve God. They looked at me shocked and said, “You worry about not doing enough?” I could tell by their expressions that I’d just put them all under the pile, but I stuck to my conviction (that I truly felt) that I wasn’t doing enough.

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